Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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