I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
