HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
