im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
