But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
