I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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