What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
