i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
