bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
