She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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