what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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