On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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