Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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