my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
