i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
