I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
