If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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