bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
