before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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