but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
