how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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