So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
