As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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