how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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