you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize