Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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