Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
