I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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