chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
