I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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