Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
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nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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