Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
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