Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
