You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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