halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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