No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
