these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I need to calm my uterus...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
