I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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