loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
