ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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