I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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