Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
