He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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