I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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