god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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