I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
