wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
