Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
