you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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