I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
