I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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