on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
