It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
