i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
