It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
