how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
