i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
