Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
