I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(