O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
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It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...