I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila