We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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