Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
