She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think I won the penis lottery.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me