I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.