I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year