SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.